Eyewitness (#65)

What a shitty movie. Really, I don’t know the last time I watched a movie that was just so BAD. The sound mixing is ATROCIOUS (the freshmen cinema students at my school are better than whoever made this film) and terrible doesn’t even begin to represent how bad the writing is. A few dialogue highlights: Morgan Freeman’s opening line, “I’m Lt. Black. It should be easy to remember.”; William Hurt’s soliloquy to Sigourney Weaver where buffing the floors is a¬†euphemism¬†for sex; and William telling Sigourney, “I can tell you right now you’re really going to enjoy this.” before they even have sex. Seriously, this might be some of the worst writing I’ve ever encountered. The plot’s all mixed up on whether it’s about a still-hung-up-on-WWII Jewish mafia or the post-Vietnam Asian-Veteran conflicts causing everything to build to simple pointlessness. Much as I like William Hurt and Christopher Plummer - with the former being the only really credible part of the movie - (sorry Sigourney, you’re just not my cup of tea) - this movie is NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. And [spoiler alert] for a film set in NYC, what is it with all the animals? There is no need for horses and dogs to be plot points to be shot at. Never have I been so glad for a movie to be over. Do NOT watch it.